Bratwurst und Bier (Bratwurst & Beer)

To ease the wife’s worries about traveling beyond the iron curtain to former Soviet blockade countries, we booked a tour instead of braving it alone. This was a bus tour that stopped at Vienna, Budapest, and Prague. Normally I’d be averse to spending that much time in an airtight cabin, but then I remembered that most passengers were American and routinely apply deodorant.

German law only allows commercial drivers a maximum of 4 hours behind the wheel before taking a half hour break. Pansies! I remember driving 15 hours straight (stopping only minutes for gas and toilet breaks). So for this “long” trip we had three drivers, which in time would come to be known as Larry, Curly, and Moe. These guys were the worst. Even the tour guide paced up and down the isle muttering his discontent for their ineptness. Customer service is not in any European language and of course absent on this bus ride. Things like not turning on the AC in a bus full of 40 people with windows that don’t open, weaving in and out of lanes so much that other cars honked and gave us an animated shake of the hand which could be interpreted as Hungarian for ‘welcome to our country, now stay in your f’n lane”. But perhaps the best part of the three stooges act was their uncanny ability to get lost in every city. These are professional drivers who I assume have made this trip before, and have the aid of a GPS.

Following an early morning breakfast we arrived in Vienna, Austria. We were then joined by our local guide for our City Tour, highlighting such sights as: the Schönbrunn Palace, the crowning glory of the Habsburg Dynasty completed by Maria Theresia (the "Mother of Austria") in 1749; the lavishly terraced gardens of Prince Eugene's Belvedere Palace, providing a magnificent view of Austria's capital; driving down the elegant Ring Boulevard passing Emperor Franz Joseph's Hofburg, the Burg Theater, the State Opera House, the Parliament Building and St. Stephan's Cathedral. We had some free time to explore and enjoy lunch before departing for the drive to Hungary. The highlight of the eating experience was having a slice of Sacher Torte. It is a decadent chocolate cake named after the Hotel Sacher whose chef concocted the recipe. It’s reported that the recipe is still secret although you can find knock offs at any café.

Upon arrival to Budapest, we checked into our hotel. This was to be the only night not spent sleeping in the bus. Next door was a Hungarian version of Wal-Mart where we stocked up on Hungarian foods such as wines and paprika laden snacks. Our tour guide arranged for a typical dinner including musicians and dancers. On one dance, the performers handpicked ‘volunteers’ from the audience to participate. Su-chun was one of the lucky victims. She showed those Hungarians that a little wine makes any dance a snap.

The next day we began the Budapest City Tour with our local guide by driving up the Gellert Hill to take in the views of the Danube Bridges - Pest lies to the East and the Buda and Blue Mountains to the North. Other historical sights include Hero's Square, the Parliament, King Mathias' Church, the Fisherman's Bastion, the Roman Ruins at Acqincum and the National Museum. The afternoon was spent on an excursion to the Puszta - the hospitable Great Plain with its fast ponies and colorful Csikós (Horsemen), in traditional costumes and wide brimmed hats. We had a two-part dinner to include Goulash. Everyone agreed that this was the best Goulash they had tasted. It better be since Goulash is a Hungarian original. The first course of dinner was followed by a horse drawn wagon ride to the corral where Hungarian horseman entertained with tricks, comedy, and daredevil stunts. And no trip to Budapest is complete without having been on a river cruise on the 'Blue Danube'. It was a relaxing way to close our day in Budapest. We then began our journey to Prague.

We arrived early in Prague, the capital since the 13th Century. We started with our local guide on a Walking City Tour through the enchanting Old Town - featuring diverse historical sights. We spend the afternoon shopping for assorted folklore items and Bohemia Crystal. Disappointingly we didn’t buy any crystal…too expensive for our taste. Then it was already time to begin the return trip to Germany.

We saw a lot in a short time. But our favorite was Budapest. Maybe it was because that’s where we spent the most time, but I think it was because it was unique and felt real, not overrun by tourism. I wonder if our next bus tour will be piloted by Larry, Curly, and Moe?